Please Remember
by Disenchanting Smiles
Summary: After Voldemort's defeat it's a different life. But there's still something else Harry needs to be happy.
1. Happiness is an Elusive Thing

**A/N:** Wow! A new fic! Shocking. I'm positive I don't have a follower left. Maybe no one will ever read this. But I'm finding it satisfying to write, that's enough for me.  
This started as a oneshot, but it turned into a chaptered fic somewhere in the second paragraph. A short one, probably, but still chaptered. I've never cared much for the idea of exploring what happens after the series ends. But with the time-frame and plot I picked I actually liked this idea enough to really want to run with it. It doesn't follow the world set up in the epilogue, nor does it follow the series perfectly. But if that's what you're looking for why are you on a fanfiction site?  
It's rated T now, but that will likely change.

* * *

Harry sat with his forehead against the rain-streaked window, staring out at the dark. A familiar pose for him; he'd spent many a summer night on Privet Drive wallowing in his misery just like this. All of those long summers longing for the magical world, Quidditch, Hogwarts… the Weasley's home. On this particular cool and drizzly summer night however he was actually at The Burrow. It was a strange phenomenon to be sure, to be in his favorite place and still longing for something so deeply.

To be sure, he had virtually no right to be in misery like he was. It had been a little over a month since Voldemort's defeat. He was finally able to go back to a real life: no hiding, no fighting, no one was out to get him. And he had even gotten the girl in the end, along with the blessing of her family. Though by no means were they allowed to sleep anywhere near each other while at The Burrow; Ginny was still young after all. True, he had lost many of those that were nearest and dearest to him in the long struggle against Voldemort. After everything that Harry had gone through it made perfect sense for him to have leftover feelings of loss and unhappiness.

The thing was, those weren't the feelings plaguing Harry the hardest lately. It wasn't that he didn't mourn for his lost friends; he did every day. It was that he yearned so deeply for something that seemed completely out of his reach. Every day spent that summer at The Burrow, laughing and playing and relaxing, was tainted by that feeling. Every kiss and touch with Ginny was defiled by desire for something, some_one_, else.

It wasn't that Harry didn't love Ginny; he absolutely did. But it wasn't genuine and passionate; his heart, or any other part of his body, had never truly ached for her. He may not have even realized that she wasn't enough if he hadn't felt what it was like to be with someone who was. Someone who made life feel like _more_. And that when he was with on a secret night he desired so greatly that he wished they could become a part of each other; he wanted to be lost forever in the tangles of sheets and limbs and sweat. Harry felt the desire that night resting on the window, tears of frustration and craving fought to his eyes. He snuck to the kitchen to pour himself an oversized glass of firewhiskey, something to ease the ache.

Harry stood looking out the kitchen window, sipping at his drink in a daze. After finishing the first and starting on a second, he suddenly began a feverish search for parchment and quill. He sat at the kitchen table writing quickly and fiercely. His heart was beating hard against his ribs and he could hear it in his ears as he wrote, further fueling his passion. He was sure most of the inspiration for this letter had come from the alcohol, but he felt as if he would be ruined if he didn't take action. He folded and addressed it, and sent the Weasley's new owl on its way with that precious, potentially life-changing letter in its care.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was awoken to early morning sunlight by a tapping on the window. He sat up quickly, easily startled as he was. After a quick glance around his small bedroom he found the source to be a barn owl at the window. Stumbling, he let the owl in, took the letter and tossed it on his nightstand, then sent the creature back out. The blond yawned and rubbed his eyes. He had to assume the letter was urgent, considering the time it had come. But he rather thought he should be a little more awake to deal with it if it was. At the rate things were going for him it would be from the Ministry telling him more of his parents' things were going to be taken away. They'd already lost the mansion, a dozen heirlooms and a good chunk of money. Draco was living in a small house by himself now, with his parents in prison.

When his eyes felt more like they were able to open fully, Draco went to his nightstand and picked up the letter. The front was labeled 'Draco' in vaguely familiar writing. It didn't look like anything official, still, as he looked at the front his heart began to pick up speed; as though his body had made the connection before his mind. Warily, he slit it open with his wand.

_My Dear, Dear Draco,_

_I know, I know I shouldn't be writing to you. I'm sure you'd like less than nothing to do with me after everything we've gone through. And I'm sure you think I want the same. We haven't had the best track record over the past few months. Though I'm not going to delve into that.  
Why I'm writing is, because I don't want nothing to do with you. Did that make sense? I miss you, Draco. I miss you so much, every day. Regardless of what we went through, and how much I should hate you. I can't get you out of my mind, it hurts. I can't enjoy myself. Ginny and I have been together but I want none of it. Because it doesn't make me feel half as good as I did with you. There isn't as much desire. And honestly, sexually I can't even make a comparison. I have never wanted her like I've wanted you even on our worst day. I'm supposed to be happy now, my life should be great. But it can't be without you. I love you, Draco. I know you never much liked it when I brought that up before, and to this day all I have is a hope that you ever felt the same. But my feelings are strong enough to make me try. That's why I'm writing this letter. That and firewhiskey.  
I really hope you'll write back, and we can be in touch. Use codenames, if you'd like. Be as discreet as you would like but I'm begging you for contact. I'll understand if you don't get in touch with me, but it might also kill me._

_Love,  
Harry_

Draco sat for a moment, looking back over the letter at certain parts. The whole thing was written in decidedly shaky handwriting. The word 'love' kept jumping out from the page at him. Finally he stood up and walked out to the kitchen, beginning to crumple the letter in his hand, prepared to toss it in the garbage. But something made him stop and look back down. Then he suddenly found himself at the table hastily writing out a reply.

* * *

Harry wasn't expecting anything, just hoping and wishing deeply. But he thought the most he might get in reality was some cruel reply. When Mrs. Weasley called the evening of the day that he had sent the letter to tell him that an owl had come for him his whole body was pulsing and burning. Ginny touched his back and asked what that could be about. He responded that he didn't know and shook her off to go read the letter in private.

_Harry,_

_I was rather surprised to get your letter this morning. I certainly didn't think I'd hear from you, ever really. I suppose it was a pleasant surprise…  
Ok. I'll admit. I've had many nights plagued by thoughts and fantasies of you. I'm reluctant to use some of the words you used, I won't say I miss you. But I certainly long for your body. And company, I suppose. This letter is going to make you remember what a prick I am, and you're going to realize you want nothing to do with me. Someday I'll hear that you made monstrous babies with that Weasley girl.  
And writing that hurts much more than I care to say. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to include my address at the end of this letter. I would not object to you showing up tomorrow night, and staying._

_Draco_

Harry read the letter with disbelief, then read it again. He still had a sneaking suspicion that it might be a fake address. Or maybe there would be some sort of trap set up when he got there. However, he also considered it to be well worth the risk. He held the letter tightly, and considered how long it was until tomorrow night. He was nervous, and a little scared, but at the same time his heart was fuller than it had been in so long.


	2. But It Can Be Found

**Author's Note:** Chapter 2 is here! I can hardly remember the last time I knocked out another chapter this quickly after posting one.  
There is a sex scene in this one, I cut out the most graphic bit for FFnet but you'll be able to find it on my Livejournal.

Enjoy!

* * *

After brief consideration, Harry decided to ride his ever-faithful Firebolt to Draco's house the evening after receiving the letter. No time was specified, but Harry was reluctant to look too eager so he decided not to leave until the sun was at the very least lowering in the sky. His alibi was far from solid; in fact it was hardly an alibi. He had told everyone he was just going for a ride. Ginny asked if she might be able to join him so they could share a romantic night but Harry brushed her off with the excuse that he wanted to be alone.

So at around 7:30 Harry was soaring in the air, south towards the address Draco mentioned. He had thrown on his Invisibility Cloak and secured t with a Fastening Charm so that he could fly as fast as he wanted without fear of it falling off. Strictly speaking he didn't have much need for the Cloak; but paranoia still set in at times and he worried that someone out there would try to attack him. He didn't think that was a horribly irrational fear after all the bullshit he'd been put through. And there were still people out there who didn't much care for what he'd done to watch out for. It had been naive for him to think that he could defeat Voldemort and the whole wizarding world would be on his side finally.

As he got to be close enough to see the cottage, Harry slipped the Cloak off. It was a gesture of courtesy and trust to allow Draco to see him approaching. He slowed and curved around to land smoothly in the front yard of the small grey-brick cottage. Despite the difference in size it seemed that Malfoy was still going for a regal and forbidding feel the same as the mansion had had. Harry strode up the walk, propping his Firebolt up next to two more broomsticks by a fence, and rang the doorbell.

Harry was standing there just long enough to wonder if this wasn't some sort of trick when the door opened and that tall blonde appeared around it. Harry was breathless at the sight of him, "Draco", he sighed before rushing to hug the blonde. Surprisingly his affection was returned, if only after a brief pause.

"I wasn't entirely sure you would come," Draco said stiffly after they had released each other.

"How could I not? You look fantastic," Harry responded, taking in Draco's snugly fitting black pants and shirt.

"I know. And I'll admit you look the most adequate I've seen you," Draco glanced at Harry's red sweater and dark jeans. "Did you actually buy clothes for yourself?"

"I did. I figured I saved the world maybe I could afford myself that one little luxury of finally having clothes that fit me." Harry gestured at himself, "Ron thought I was being a bit of a pouf about it."

"Nothing wrong with being well-dressed," Draco said with a sneer at the mention of Ron, "Come in, I have tea on."

Draco led Harry through the cottage. It ended up being a rather modest little abode. There were some grand gestures in a few pieces of the furniture, but a lot of it really seemed more cozy. The kitchen/dining area held a rather elaborately carved mahogany dining table with matching chairs, but other than that seemed to be designed for function.

"I'm surprised," Harry said, "No gold-embossed doors or filigree snakes."

"I'm not exactly well-off anymore," Draco replied, getting out a silver tea set, "And as for snakes, I've left those and everything they stand for behind. They have no place in my home."

"I haven't quite decided how I feel about snakes. I have had a few good conversations with them after all."

Draco glanced at him from where he was pouring out hot water, "They've also gotten you into some trouble too."

"With help from you, of course. But if I hated everything that had ever caused me trouble," Harry paused, "I certainly wouldn't be here right now."

"Fair enough." Draco brought the tea over on a tray and sat opposite Harry at the table. "Why _are_ you here, Harry?"

"I think I covered that pretty well in my letter," Harry said sipping at his tea.

"Yes you miss me and all that bullshit. But how is that possible? After everything we've gone through, everything I've done to you?"

"Not everything I've done has made your life easier over the years. You saved me this spring. I know you knew that was me the whole time. And I repaid you by attacking you and taking your wand. Not to mention in sixth year when I almost killed you."

"I attacked you first, we were sleeping together almost daily and I attacked you in a bathroom. Harry, trying to make yourself out to be the asshole in this situation is really only enforcing what a fantastic person you actually are." Draco finished all this with a long drink from his tea, "Let's face it. For every reason we have no business being together. Everything we have been through in our lives basically says that we should hate each other eternally. Yet here we are, having tea in my kitchen, and all I can think about is ripping your nice new clothes off."

Harry blushed lightly at the comment. "Maybe some things are just meant to be."

Draco sputtered on his tea a little, "Meant to be? Potter, I was talking about sex."

"I know, I know. That's all this ever was."

"Did you come here to talk to me about your feelings?"

"No. I would like to but that's not all I'm looking to do."

"What are you looking to do?" Draco said, smirking and getting out of his seat.

"You know what," Harry answered, looking sheepishly into his tea cup.

"I want to hear you say what you want, Harry," the blonde practically purred his name as he leaned against the table right in front of Harry.

With a streak of boldness Harry looked right into Draco's eyes and growled, "I want you to fuck me. Right now."

"Happy to," Draco said. He grabbed Harry's face and smashed their lips together, pulling him out of the chair as he did so. He pushed the boy against the wall and pressed hard against him. "I can feel how much you missed me," he whispered, grinding his hips against Harry's.

"Care to show me your new bedroom?" Harry asked, gasping for air. Draco broke away from Harry with a last nibble to his bottom lip before grabbing his hand and leading him down a hall. The bedroom seemed very Draco. The bed was huge, with dark green silk sheets. They were very soft, as Harry discovered when he was thrown down onto them.

Hands were hungry and groping as clothes were thrown onto the floor. Harry gasped in anticipation and excitement as Draco tore his pants and boxers down his hips and off his body in one fell swoop, then fumbled and hurried with his own.

"That ass," Draco murmured running his hands over Harry's body, "I assume no one else has been in there since me?"

Harry shook his head, arcing his hips up and fighting the urge to stroke himself as he waited for Draco to hurry up and _fuck him_ already.

"Oh it's going to be so tight," Draco growled with a rough grab, "Turn over." He stretched over Harry to fumble in his bedside table. He seemed to get more frustrated as he apparently couldn't find what he was looking for and grabbed his wand, "Fuck, accio lube!" There was a clatter in the bathroom and the bottle came zooming into the bedroom into Draco's hand.

* * *

When both had collapsed into the bed, Harry found himself fighting a strange urge to cry. That had possibly been the best sex they had ever had, and he found himself full of emotion. "Wow," he breathed, "Draco that was absolutely fantastic."

"I must say I agree."

A pause, "Hey Draco?"

"Yes?"

"I want to be with you."

"Well, I suppose I have no objection to you stopping by and repeating this every so often."

"No, Draco," Harry struggled out from under the blonde so that he could look at him. "I want to be _with_ you. Not just occasional, or even frequent, sex. I want to give a real relationship between the two of us a chance."

"Harry-" Draco began in a tentative voice.

"Honestly, what could be so wrong about it now? After all the hell we've both been through. It's not like you have to worry about keeping up appearances much anymore. If anything, being in a relationship with me could improve your image. Unless you don't have any real feelings for me, I guess. If that's the case say so. I'll leave now."

"That just seems so impossible."

"Answer please. Do you have feelings for me or don't you?"

Draco looked at him, eyes intense.

"If you don't I can leave now. You won't see me again."

"Don't be ridiculous! I do, you know I do and have for years. It's just always been so difficult."

"It doesn't have to be anymore. We're both adults, Voldemort's gone, we've been through enough bullshit that whatever negativity may come from us being together really won't matter. In all honesty I would like to live with you and be with you. But you have to want that too."

Draco sat and looked down for what seemed to Harry to be a thousand years. Finally he spoke, "Is this house up to your standards? I can't see how it wouldn't be, you living in that dump with the Weasleys all the time but if you'd like we could remodel or get a new house."

Harry's face split into a wide grin as he tackled Draco into a hug.

* * *

One more brief chapter to come, just to wrap things up.


End file.
